


Home for the Holidays

by cindergal



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Christmas, Holidays, LuRe Yule 2014, M/M, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3071714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cindergal/pseuds/cindergal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Home is where the heart is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home for the Holidays

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [](http://moerlin.livejournal.com/profile)[moerlin](http://moerlin.livejournal.com/) for the great banner and [](http://tldreamer.livejournal.com/profile)[tldreamer](http://tldreamer.livejournal.com/) for all her hard work organizing this challenge! This is also a bit of a tribute to James Rebhorn, who was a wonderful actor who played Angus Oliver as well as many other memorable roles (including Carrie's dad on Homeland). He died earlier this year.

Their third Christmas together was only a week away when the letter came. Reid had gotten the mail, and Luke didn’t realize that anything was wrong until Reid threw the envelope on the coffee table with such disdain that it slid across the surface and fell to the floor as he was stalking out of the room. When Luke picked the envelope up and read the return address, it suddenly made sense – Angus Oliver, written in a bold but shaky hand.

As far as Luke knew, his uncle had never tried to contact Reid before, but Angus was a sore subject for Reid. Luke had tried to get Reid to talk about him early in their relationship, but he’d never been successful in getting more than a few words out of Reid about him, and none of them were good. It hurt Luke to know that Reid’s childhood had been so painful, and all he wanted to do was make it better. Maybe Angus reaching out to Reid now was a way for that to happen.

Luke pushed open the bedroom door to find Reid violently opening and closing dresser drawers.

“Well? Did you read it?”

Luke looked down at the envelope in his hands. “No. May I?”

Reid shrugged. “What do I care?”

The letter was short and to the point: Reid’s uncle was dying of cancer. He was in a hospice facility in New York City, and he wanted to see Reid before he died. He didn’t have much time.

“You okay?”

“Yep.” Reid didn’t look at him, he just tore the sweater he was wearing over his head and pulled on a t shirt.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Nope.” He shucked his jeans and pulled on a pair of running shorts.

“Reid…”

Reid finally looked at him. “I am going for a run. I do not want to talk about it. End of discussion. Are we clear, Luke?”

“Yeah,” Luke said, as Reid grabbed his running shoes and brushed past him. “Crystal.”

*

Reid was gone for over an hour. He returned soaked with sweat and headed immediately for the shower. When he sat down next to Luke several minutes later, all warm and good smelling and rested his head on Luke’s shoulder, Luke couldn’t resist reaching up and running his hand through Reid damp hair.

“I’m sorry,” Reid said. “I was a jerk.”

“I really don’t care about that,” Luke said. “I just wish you trusted me enough to talk about this with me.”

Reid raised his head and looked closely at him. “This has nothing to do with trust. I’d trust you with my life.”

It was a wonderful thing to say, and Reid seemed to believe it, but Luke wasn’t so sure that it wasn’t at least a little about trust. There was a part of himself that Reid still seemed to hold back, and Luke would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt a little, especially when Luke felt like he was always such an open book.

“Then what is it about?”

Reid sighed. “There’s a widely held misconception among the majority of the human population, including you, that if you just _talk_ about things, you’re somehow going to _feel_ better. And that’s not necessarily the case. Talking about this will not make me feel better. The facts are the facts, and no amount of talking will change that.”

Luke shook his head, trying not to smile. “There are facts, and there are feelings about the facts. Feelings can change.”

“Not mine.”

Luke laughed out loud. “Oh really? Remember when you hated my guts? Or have you conveniently forgotten about that?”

“That’s different!”

“Why?”

“Because it is! Because we’re both adults. Because I wasn’t a vulnerable little kid who’d just lost his parents, okay?”

Luke reached for him, but Reid was already standing up and moving away to pace in front of the sofa.

“Reid, I’m sorry. But maybe your uncle realizes that now. Facing death can change a person. Maybe that’s why he wants to see you. Maybe he has regrets.”

Reid stopped pacing long enough to roll his eyes at Luke. “That’s a hell of a lot of maybes. For all I know he just wants to berate me some more, for old times’ sake.”

“On his deathbed? I doubt that.”

Reid’s eyes flashed with anger. “You don’t even know him. Do you know what he did to me once? When I had the audacity to _make a mistake?_ That was my crime. I was nine years old and I made a stupid move and lost a match. And after the match he took the knight that I’d made that bad move with, and he pressed it into my hand so hard I cried.”

Luke stood up. “Reid, that’s awful…”

“And you know what he said? He said, that’s what failure feels like. I’ll tell you what, though, I never made a mistake like that again. I carried that black knight around with me to remind me of that, and when I graduated from medical school, I mailed it back to him along with a note that said, check mate. That was the last contact I ever had with him. Or ever wanted to.”

Luke approached him slowly, placing his hands on Reid’s shoulders and forcing Reid to look him in the eye. “Look,” he said, “I may be giving the impression that I think you should do what your uncle wants because he’s dying, and that’s not the case at all. I want you to do what’s best for _you._ Because you’re right, I don’t know him. I don’t know what it was like to grow up like that. I just want you not to hurt like this anymore. But it’s your decision. And I’ll support whatever you decide, one hundred percent. Okay?”

Reid nodded, then kissed Luke hard. And while Luke knew that Reid was in part just trying to avoid further conversation on this topic, trying to forget the pain he was feeling, when Reid was kissing him like this, Luke couldn’t bring himself to mind.

*

“What would you do if Damian wrote you a letter like that?”

They were lying in bed, and Luke was just drifting off when Reid spoke, keeping his voice soft and low in case Luke was already asleep. Luke’s hand sought Reid’s in the dark. He linked their fingers together and considered the question. It wasn’t like similar thoughts had never crossed his mind since Damian had gone to prison. He thought about his biological father more often than he’d like to admit. “I don’t know. I’d like to think I could forgive him for all he’s done, but it’s hard to say when it’s just hypothetical.” Luke propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Reid. There was just enough ambient light in the room to see the conflict in his blue eyes. “What would you tell me to do if he did?”

“I don’t tell you what to do,” Reid said.

Luke nodded. “I know. But what if I asked for your advice?”

Reid hesitated. “I…I would probably ask you if you thought you might regret it more if you went and were disappointed, or if you didn’t go and never knew for sure.”

Luke placed his hand on Reid’s chest, over his heart. “I’m not telling you what to do, Reid. But I think that’s good advice.”

Reid frowned. “Even if I wanted to go, I have surgeries booked through the 23rd. I don’t have a day off till Christmas Eve.”

Luke bent his head and kissed him softly. “Well,” he said, “I’ve always wanted to spend Christmas in New York.”

*

“Luke, I can’t ask you to do this.”

Luke finished pouring his coffee and opened the fridge. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that Reid was having second thoughts now that they were seeing the harsh light of day.

“You didn’t ask. I offered.” He took the cream out and poured it into his cup.

“But it’s Christmas! You should be with your family.”

Luke slowly stirred his coffee. Then he walked across the room, sat down at the table, and took Reid’s hand in his own, looking deep into his eyes. “I will be with my family.”

Reid scoffed. “You know what I mean.”

“You do realize that this isn’t that unusual for couples? Some years Casey and Alison spend Christmas with his family, and some years with hers.”

Reid took his hand back, picked up his fork and attacked his scrambled eggs with a vengeance. “We’re not going for dinner. He’s dying.”

“All the more reason, then. If you think my parents won’t understand, you’re wrong. They will.”

“I don’t really care how they feel,” Reid said. “I care about you. I know how important it is for you to be with your parents and your brother and sisters during the holidays. And grandmothers. And cousins. And step-cousins.”

Luke snorted out a laugh. Reid finished with his breakfast, his fork clattering to his plate, and got up to take it to the sink. He jumped in surprise when he turned around and Luke was right behind him. Luke put his hands on the sink on either side of Reid, trapping him against the counter.

“Well apparently you don’t know how important it is for me to be with _you_ during the holidays.”

“I know,” Reid said, resting his hands on Luke’s forearms. “But it’s not the same.”

“No,” Luke said softly, “it’s not the same. Because as much as I love them, even the step cousins, I would rather be with you than with anyone else. On Christmas Day or any day. Do I really have to spell this out to you after all this time?”

Reid had been a little insecure about Luke’s feelings for him in the early days of their relationship, and given the way things had started between them and Luke’s indecisiveness, he couldn’t really blame Reid. He’d thought Reid was over that, but maybe Luke hadn’t done as good a job convincing him as he thought.

Reid swallowed hard. “I guess you did.”

Luke smiled and pressed his forehead against Reid’s. “Well there you go. Are we clear, Dr. Oliver?”

Reid grinned. “Crystal.” He sobered quickly. “It’s not going to be a fun trip.”

“We’ll be together, and we’ll be doing something that’s important to you, no matter how much you try to protest otherwise.”

Reid brought his hands up to Luke’s face and kissed him softly. “I love you, Mr. Snyder.”

Luke smiled. “I love you, too.”

*

It was Christmas Eve day in Brooklyn, NY, and instead of the picturesque, snow-dusted cityscape Luke had imagined, it was grey and rainy and dismal, which seemed to match Reid’s mood perfectly. They had flown in last night on Lucinda’s jet, and had taken the crowded subway here from their hotel in Manhattan when they couldn’t find a cab in the rain, which had only made Reid grumpier, if that was possible. Now they stood in the clean but unassuming lobby of the hospice facility, and Luke stepped in front of Reid to speak to the receptionist if only to save her from his foul mood. Reid had called them the week before to let his Uncle Angus know he was coming.

A nurse came out to greet them, and she smiled warmly at Reid. “You must be Dr. Oliver! There’s such a strong family resemblance! Your Uncle will be very happy to see you. Please follow me.”

Reid looked a little surprised at that, and they followed the nurse up to the second floor to Angus’ room. She left them standing outside the closed door, telling them to go in whenever they were ready.

“You okay?” Luke asked. Reid glanced around nervously.

“Yeah…I don’t know what to say,” he admitted.

“He asked to see you. Let him lead.”

Reid nodded. “Right.” He was starting to perspire, and Luke took his coat from him and handed him a handkerchief.

“Okay, I’ll be right out here when you’re done talking.”

“What? No! You’re coming with me,” Reid said, taking his hand.

“I am? I thought you might want to handle this on your own.”

Reid tugged him closer and kissed him. “No, I’m done with that. I’ve been dealing with this on my own for long enough.”

*

Reid’s uncle was sitting up, but appeared to be asleep when they entered the room. But as they stood at the foot of his bed, he opened his eyes and fixed Reid with that same piercing blue gaze that he shared with his nephew. Luke glanced from one to the other and thought that the nurse was right, the family resemblance was pretty striking.

“Hello Reid. Thank you for coming.”

“Uncle Angus.”

He turned his attention to Luke. “Who’s your friend?”

“He’s more than a friend. Luke Snyder, Angus Oliver.”

Luke smiled and stepped forward, shaking the hand that Angus offered him. His grip was shaky, but firm. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Oliver.”

“No need to be so formal. Angus is fine.” Angus smiled. “So, more than a friend. You two married? Kids?”

“Not yet,” Reid said, and Luke raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I see. But serious. How’d you find someone to put up with you, Reid? And he’s so nice and polite, too.”

Luke cringed, but Reid seemed to be amused. Luke could see a smile dancing at the corners of mouth. “I have no idea, but they say miracles happen.”

“Well you’re standing here in front of me, so I guess that’s true.”

Reid cleared his throat. “You said you needed to see me.”

Angus nodded, looking out the window for a moment. The rain was coming down harder now, pounding against the glass.

“You end up in a place like this, and all you have is time, you know? Time to think, time to remember. And it occurred to me that…maybe I hadn’t done right by you. And since there’s the possibility, if you’re a believer, that I’m going to see my brother again soon – and God forbid your mother – I felt like I should try to make amends.”

Reid was looking down at his feet, and the room was filled with an awkward silence.

“You mentioned Reid’s mom – what was she like?” Luke asked.

“Oh, she was a pistol. Fiery red hair, and a disposition to match.” He laughed. “She didn’t like me much.”

Luke saw that Reid was listening with interest, now.

“And your brother? Reid’s dad?”

“He was the quiet type. Opposites attract, I guess. Brilliant, too. Reid takes after him in that way. Always the smartest kid in school. And the one with the smartest mouth. He got _that_ from his mother.”

Luke laughed, and he was happy to see Reid smiling as well.

Angus started to laugh, too, but that led to a coughing fit, and Reid had to go and get a nurse. By the time they got him quieted down, he looked exhausted.

“I think it’s about time for us to go,” Reid said. “We can come back later.”

Angus held up his hand. “Wait.” He motioned Reid closer, and Reid moved to sit on the side of the bed, leaning close so he could hear his uncle speak. “I know you think I made you play chess for the money. And the fame. And part of that was true.” Reid nodded. “But part of it was that I was proud of you. Of how smart you were, and how well you played. But I didn’t have kids of my own, and I didn’t know how to tell you that. But I’m telling you now. I know you’re a big shot doctor, and I’m still proud.”

Reid sat with his head bowed for a moment, and Luke wanted to go to him, to comfort him, and at the same time to yell at him and tell him to forgive the man already. But this wasn’t his story, and so he just stood there and held his breath.

“You did the best you could,” Reid said. “You took me in when I had no one else. And I don’t think I would be the success I am today if it wasn’t for you.”

Angus smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, just like Reid’s did. “I wish we could have had this talk sooner.”

Reid stood up. “Me too.”

“So, are we good?”

Reid nodded. “We’re good.”

Angus’ eyes closed. “Time to rest, then. Nice meeting you, Luke. Thanks for putting up with my pain in the ass nephew.”

Luke laughed again. “It’s my pleasure, on both counts.”

Luke stepped out in the hallway, but Reid paused in the doorway for a moment. “Merry Christmas, Uncle Angus.”

But Angus was already asleep.

*

Their Christmas Eve was spent eating the best Chinese food Luke had ever tasted at a hole in the wall place in Chinatown, and kissing Reid senseless in the rain after gelato in Little Italy. Reid’s mood was lighter than Luke had seen it in a long time, and though it wasn’t your traditional Christmas Eve celebration, Luke couldn’t remember enjoying one more. They spent half the night making love, and before they fell asleep, Reid asked if it was okay with Luke if they spent Christmas day with his uncle. Luke agreed happily, and marveled at how Reid never failed to keep him guessing.

The rain had stopped by the time they woke up, though the sky remained grey and overcast, and Luke held Reid’s hand as they drove into Brooklyn in the back of the yellow cab. The same nurse came down to greet them as the day before, but this time she wore a sad smile that made Luke’s heart drop into his stomach. It seemed that Reid’s uncle had passed away during the night, but she said that he had left something for Reid. When she led them to his room, they found a small box wrapped in Christmas paper and tied with a red bow.

“You must have been very special to him, Dr. Oliver. What’s inside that box was his most prized possession,” she said, before closing the door behind her.

Reid sat on the edge of the bed and tore off the paper, and started to laugh softly when he opened the box up.

“You old bastard,” he said fondly.

Inside the box was the black knight that Reid had told Luke about, and a note that he handed to Luke. It said, “My middlegame needs work, but not a bad endgame. Merry Christmas, Reid.”

As they stepped outside the building onto the sidewalk, Luke looked around him in wonder. It was snowing.

“Christmas snow!” Luke said, and Reid smiled as he took his hand, pulling him down the street and into the doorway of a store that said _Closed Christmas Day_ on the sign.

“How are you doing?” Luke asked.

Reid wrapped his arms around him. “I’m doing okay. Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for encouraging me to do this. And thank you for being here with me on Christmas instead of at home.”

The snow fell all around them, muffling the sounds of traffic, big white flakes that made everything seem clean and fresh and a little magical. Luke reached up and brushed snowflakes out of Reid’s hair. “Like I keep telling you,” he said, “I’m here with you. I _am_ home.”


End file.
